Pass the Awesome! An experiment about life and the way it moves me |
Some of you know what I do, but for those that don't I currently work for landscaping company. I currently spend most of my shifts spraying pesticides and spreading fertilizer(mixed with pesticides) at the same time. Basically, I poison the environment- people, plants, and animals. There is nothing pleasant about it. It weighs heavily on my mind. The job won't last long.
I have never found a job that I enjoyed-never even found a workplace I where I fit in. when I was roughly 20 I made a pact with myself. A pact that I intend to keep. Knowing full well my personality (one that doesn't mesh with the modern american economy) I decided that if I hadn't yet found my place in society by the time I was 30, that I would "go rogue" as I called it back then. I never really fleshed out the plan because I never really thought I would have to do it. Well, I'm 28. I have two years to fit into the typical american economy. I've become rather certain this won't happen. That being said, I've been thinking. Thinking I have done everyday for most of my life. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to go? When will it happen? Will it happen? Why is this happening (to me)? What the F body? Who what when where why. An incredible array or questions, and almost all of them rather weighty questions. If you ever think I seem a little "out of it sometimes" know that while I may not have a wife and kids, there is always something on my mind. I worry about things- a lot. Back to "going rogue"- it basically means choosing an "alternative lifestyle". Most of which involve become an ex-patriot. I am rather anti-America for many reasons, so this IS an option for me. I have pondered an research a variety of different things. Joining a commune, volunteering for the peace corps, going on vacation abroad on a one-way ticket, teaching English abroad, joining a monastery ie becoming a monk (likely in Tibet or Nepal), taking up a job at a resort in a remote part of Alaska (it's a lot easier than you would think), taking up life on a Irish farm raising farm animals, volunteering at a wildlife refuge (in Thailand), becoming a travel blogger (possible future of this blog?)...... These are all things I have rather seriously considered. Most of these options are still rather feasible. There are many things road blocks in my way. There are always have been, and these challenges only become greater over time. But this is a fact of life. Nothing is every easy. where there is a will there is a way. And while I am pretty self defeating and scared shitless I am rather determined to find a better path through life. If I manage to pull this off, you sure can too!
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July 2015
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