Pass the Awesome!
An experiment about life and the way it moves me
Pass the Awesome!
An experiment about life and the way it moves me
Among the birds I have been feeding recently are baby ducks. Adventurous little fellas. When a path is made to somewhere new, they take it. well, I left my apartment door open a bit, and they wandered on in and ate some corn. Oddly the smaller clutch had an easier time getting up the flashing into my apartment than the larger ducklings. I went to get my camera to take a picture and a 4/5 of them get stuck inside my room and started beeping (calling for mom). So I had to pick them up and scoot them out while their mother was slightly mad at me. The little guys were fresh enough out of the water that their little fuzzy bottoms were soggy. Hooray for cute and fuzzy wildlife! They bring a little joy into my life.
I love em! For me they are a crazy mismash of things that are often quite vividly remembered and often involve flying ( not in a plane).
Over the years my dreams have included ghosts, earthquakes, killer super balls, random animals (extinct, real-life, and or imaginary), talking lizard men museum owners, jersey wearing dinosaurs, coins that summon jesus, flying around college campus', jet-vans, boxes of crystiline stars (like the sun) Beds made of large pink crystals, and large magic socks (think magic carpet).
My dreams usually bear very little resemblance to real life (which is often a nice reprieve). Even though my dreams may often be rather stressful, I (currently due to a medication) have almost no nightmares.
I had a rather violent dream last night. The snipit below is bit disturbing. you have been warned.
I was in a house- an every changing single story house I believe- Men were coming one at a time from the outside through any number of entrances ie doors, windows... They were attaching me, or at least they were attempting too, and often with knife in hand. I kept grabbing the largest kitchen knife available and attempting to stab my attackers before they got me. I kept stabbing them in the head/face (little blood or gore), relying on the fact that My reach was longer than theirs to survive. Each time I killed one of my attackers I would forget about them (as well as the knife) and went to go grab yet another knife to fight the next attacker. I distinctly remember stabbing one in the front of the neck and trying to force it up into their head only to have the knife blade break off inside them. That particular attacker attacked me in the driveway ( garage door was open)
Should I have posted such a violent dream. Don't know... life doesn't come with directions. I don't know what this means as far as my character is concerned. I avoid fights like the plague... I might delete this later. hard to say. I just thought it was curious.
1999 in fact... I happened upon Planescape-torment a few years ago, but just bought it earlier this week. The game flopped apon release because of poor marketing and "prettier" games coming out at the same time. Over the years various peoples have found it and the overwhelming majority call it one of the best computer based rpgs of all time. I have only played it for a days, but I got high-hopes for it.
Planescape-Torment's graphics look really dated. Don't let it scare you off! This game contains possibly the most in-depth script of any game ever produced. It was produced during the time when Plot still mattered. And this one is deep. So incredibly deep it will actually get you to think about your own life while playing it (if you actually read the dialog). Honestly
Based on the descriptive word "in-depth" it can be noted that this game is not a first person shooter. Its a top-down view open world adventure game set in the original DnD realm. Which for me is nostalgia waiting to happen.
I got the game from gog.com for 10 dollars. Totally worth it.
While playing video games may not be the best use of ones time, they are a worthy form of entertainment (depends on the game in my opinion). This one (odd considering the heafty content) is helping me relax. And that, I might add is worth it in its own right, as very few things have been able to do that for me as of late.
Here's to indoor adventures worth experiencing!
The past few weeks have been tiring. I realize I have not written anything in a while, and I have no real excuses. That being said. Here I go.
Sauerkraut. It was not always a pile of cooked vinegary mush. No, the real thing is crunchy, flavorful, and quite good for you. It is a fermented food. A food that I attempted to make prior to starting this blog several times, each time ending in failure. Why did I fail? It turns out I was simply to flippin' impatient!
A few weeks ago, when I started writing about water kefir, I decided to make a quart of sauerkraut using a little bit of water kefir as a starter. I shredded and smashed a whole head of cabbage with maybe 1-1.5 teaspoons of pink sea salt (if no starter is used- usually whey from cheese making- it is generally accepted that first timers use 1 tablespoon of salt instead. I mixed in a few ounces of water kefir and smashed the pile into a glass wide mouth quart jar. I then put a thin layer of olive oil on top as an extra (and likely unneeded) precaution. Then I put on the lid (not super tight). Based off of my previous experiences, I used a glass anchor hocking tupperware-type container as a mote. I placed it on my usually unused microwave and there it sat for roughly 3 weeks. Yes, 3 weeks. It takes a while for the the sauerkraut to finish up. You can eat it sooner, but it is more likely to go bad that way.
Within one day, the fermenting cabbage pushed all of the oil out of the jar and into the mote. In the process it also pushed all oxygen out of the jar. In my previous attempts I freaked out at the overflowing mess and tried to push the kraut down into its liquids agian (BAD IDEA). This time, I just shrugged and let it alone. Since Oxygen is needed for the kraut to go bad, all was well. Carbon dioxide is heavier than regular air, so as long as it is undisturbed, it acts as a barrier.
if you don't understand the c02 barrier, look up lake Nyos. The volcanic lake released a ridiculous amount of c02 it had stored up on August 26 1986. The cloud of co2 rolled down into the valley bellow and suffocated 1700 people to death. Grim, I know, but it just show that it acts as an oxygen barrier. The same rules apply here.
Some of you know what I do, but for those that don't I currently work for landscaping company. I currently spend most of my shifts spraying pesticides and spreading fertilizer(mixed with pesticides) at the same time. Basically, I poison the environment- people, plants, and animals. There is nothing pleasant about it. It weighs heavily on my mind. The job won't last long.
I have never found a job that I enjoyed-never even found a workplace I where I fit in.
when I was roughly 20 I made a pact with myself. A pact that I intend to keep. Knowing full well my personality (one that doesn't mesh with the modern american economy) I decided that if I hadn't yet found my place in society by the time I was 30, that I would "go rogue" as I called it back then. I never really fleshed out the plan because I never really thought I would have to do it.
Well, I'm 28. I have two years to fit into the typical american economy. I've become rather certain this won't happen.
That being said, I've been thinking. Thinking I have done everyday for most of my life. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going to go? When will it happen? Will it happen? Why is this happening (to me)? What the F body? Who what when where why. An incredible array or questions, and almost all of them rather weighty questions. If you ever think I seem a little "out of it sometimes" know that while I may not have a wife and kids, there is always something on my mind. I worry about things- a lot.
Back to "going rogue"- it basically means choosing an "alternative lifestyle". Most of which involve become an ex-patriot. I am rather anti-America for many reasons, so this IS an option for me. I have pondered an research a variety of different things.
Joining a commune, volunteering for the peace corps, going on vacation abroad on a one-way ticket, teaching English abroad, joining a monastery ie becoming a monk (likely in Tibet or Nepal), taking up a job at a resort in a remote part of Alaska (it's a lot easier than you would think), taking up life on a Irish farm raising farm animals, volunteering at a wildlife refuge (in Thailand), becoming a travel blogger (possible future of this blog?)...... These are all things I have rather seriously considered. Most of these options are still rather feasible.
There are many things road blocks in my way. There are always have been, and these challenges only become greater over time. But this is a fact of life. Nothing is every easy. where there is a will there is a way. And while I am pretty self defeating and scared shitless I am rather determined to find a better path through life.
If I manage to pull this off, you sure can too!
It's a good place. A place full of friendly peoples. I just went there last night. I listened to a few bands/ performances at super close range (at a reasonable volume too!). Among these groups was a group called Humming People. They are a band from Norway! Well worth a listen!
Afterwards I got to hang out with a couple cool peoples that I haven't seen in a while, along with a few new faces.
Twas a good night!
Though the apartments complex thought they removed all the geese nests they are apparently did not. Three goslings along with there parents wandered into my little back yard today. So I fed them. Because it practically maditory. I think most good people would agree.
As you may notice from the picture, my bird feeder is not there. No worries! Its actually above there heads. Hanging the bird feeders from cheap metal chain has kept away the squirrels. I am still working out ways to attract as many bird types as I can without breaking my budget to my tiny porch.
This list so far
Canadian Geese (obviously)
European Starling ?
Black-capped chickadee (only saw it once)
At least one unknown
Due to my temporary diet constraints, I assume I am rather malnourished. Fish provides a great source of nutrition. So I went out to the asian supermarket and looked at all the fish. Whole mackerel was cheap and looked relatively low on the food chain (less toxic accumulation), so two fish with fresh looking eyes went into as bag and along with me.
Filleting the fish took me all of one small youtube video to learn. Very simple- I Cut a few non-skillful cuts and pulled the head off plus guts attached. Then I ripped out the spine because I didn't feel like choking to death. And there were two fillets. Nasty and disgusting? Maybe, I guess. But this is food people. This is how animals start out- ie. intact. Someones gotta do it, and in some cases that someone is you.
Anyways, one was laced with lemon, salt and pepper-
the other with ginger, soy and garlic
Into the oven at 400 degrees they went, and back out again around 10 minutes later. Delicious!
oh, but that's not all. What did I do with the heads and guts off the fish? hahaha. That wasn't your question, but I bet it is now. The head is a rather tasty (I just tried it) albeit less appetizing looking piece of fish- . It contains nutrients not found in the fleshy portion of the fish. Then there is the guts. While rather bitter, the guts contain nutrients in abundance (think cod liver oil).
So into the crock pot the head, spine and guts went. That and rosemary, parsley, a little apple cider vinegar, and water of course. simmering fishy liquid is the smell I woke up to this morning (the fish overpowers the scent of the spices). This is precisely when I thought that the fish head soup might have been a bad idea. But I still tried it. Of course I still tried it. This is me we are talking about.
Not bad really. Not bad at all considering I put in fish guts as well. The broth tastes herbal, a little meaty, and slightly bitter. Its quite palatable. It's Drinkable actually, which was a pleasant surprise. Here's to nutrition!
I have bad feet. Real nasty vial things. But they get me around this earth, so I need to treat them well. But, well, they are shaped like MY feet. Most shoes however, are not. There in lies the problem. The prospect of shoe shopping can fill me with dread. I can try on shoes for hours (plural) and come home with nothing. this is common.
I used to walk like a duck for the first 20 or so years of my life. I also pronate heavily. This has caused bunions, bunions that are visibly getting worse as time goes on. So I have wide feet. Rather I have wide toes. I have an average rest of my foot. But I need wides to fit my bunion. But wide shoes are generally made to fit fat feet. I don't have fat feet. So my feet slip around in some shoes, and my bunion is simply compressed in most others. The shoes that fit my bunion generally are not supportive because they are made for fat feet. this allows me to pronate heavily, making my foot problems worse...
I went out today with a dread filled mind, fully prepared to come home exhausted and depressed. This did not happen. I went to a red wing shoe store. I tried on boots, and shoes. king toe boots are a nice option. I tried out decent orthotics for the first time. Holy Balls! They make all the difference! they make it like you are wearing a completely different shoe, and completely alter how you walk (I need this) I may not have grabbed a pair of 200 boots of the shelf just yet, but I may be doing just that in the near future. That and a pair or two of orthotics.
The two employees at redwing were super easy to work with and I actually had my first ever pleasant shoe shopping experience in my life. Enjoyable shoe shopping! Blows my mind. Gives me hope for my future feetsies. You might not be F'in screwed after all!
Ireland was the first country I wanted to travel to as a kid. The emerald isles. A green land of rock, meadow, cliff, ruin, mist and shore. Ireland is only the size of the state of massechusets, but in my opinion is far more interesting. I found this video while searching for a song yesterday. I'm pretty sure I just watched about 1.5 hours of youtube videos of Ireland this morning.